The Black Mirror
by Alcrudeorax
Summary: Based on New Moon: Bella's depression triggered a repressed memory; things that were better left untold, secrets that should have never been revealed. Warning: Some themes which may be considered disturbing are heavily implied. Read with an open mind.
1. Mirrors

**MIRRORS**

* * *

Mirrors, I was trapped in a maze full of mirrors. It was too quiet. I felt numb and empty; it sent chills through my whole body.

I ran as fast as my feet could manage, stumbling to a halt towards mirrors at every sharp turn. I realized that not even the impact of the collision between the mirrors and my body felt anything; it terrified me to no end.

The numbness was driving me insane; I stopped and considered pounding on a mirror until it breaks so the jagged edge of the broken glass could cut me. I was desperate to feel pain, to feel anything. I was desperate to bleed, to see proof that I wasn't as empty as I felt.

Without giving myself permission I carried on my plan. I pounded a mirror with all my strength. The silence became unbearable then, it was too deafening. I screamed as I pounded. My screams echoed through the whole place. Suddenly, the scream became laughter, the innocent laugh of a child. The sound was eerily familiar. Then the voice changed, it was no longer the voice of a child, it was my voice.

I heard my laughter growing louder and louder. I covered my ears and wished for silence again. The laughter was still growing louder. I took a hesitant glimpse towards the mirror to make sure I wasn't the one who was laughing. My sanity was spared as the mirror confirmed that it wasn't me.

Just then the laughter stopped, it was quickly replaced by a heartbreaking cry of a woman. Maybe it was the pure sadness that was evident with each sob. Maybe it was my urge to make sense of the whole situation. Maybe it was my own nature to reach out to people who needed help. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to run.

Whatever the reason I found myself running again, following the cries and sobs. I desperately searched for the source of the sound. Senseless emotions overwhelmed me. Happiness, relief, fear and guilt; the latter was the most absurd of all, though all of these emotions made no sense.

After what felt like an eternity, I began to lose hope. Unlike me, the cries were unrelenting. I wasn't tired, but I seemed to have forgotten all my motivations. I leaned into the corner between two mirrors and slowly sunk down. I brought my knees closer to my body; I closed my eyes - my arms outstretched on both mirrors - and felt my consciousness slipping away.

"You promised…."

My eyes snapped opened. A wave of guilt overwhelmed me, nothing makes sense anymore.

"Promise…."

That voice, it was mine. But I didn't say anything. I looked up and saw my reflection. At least, I thought it was me.

"Marie", my reflection said with my voice.

No one called me by that name, no one but…..

I went closer, but my reflection didn't move. I realized then that it wasn't a mirror, it was a looking glass.

What? But how can that be? The woman in the glass was clearly me. No, I mean she had my face but, everything else about her was different. Her hair was a pale shade of blonde, and it was in a short bob cut. Her eyes were a deep violet. She wore the same attire that I was in; an ivory white formal long-sleeved blouse and a black pleated skirt that barely reached the knee. I didn't even notice what I was wearing until now. I was sure I was in my pyjamas earlier.

She went closer to the glass which stood as a barrier between us. I did the same; somehow she pulled me towards her, like an invisible chord was connecting us.

"Marie", she murmured again. She looked at me with a sad smile; her eyes were filled with longing.

"Are you real?" I didn't even understand my question.

"I'm here." Her answer was as vague as my question, but somehow, a small part of me, a very distant part, understood.

She placed her right hand on the glass for a short while and gently pulled it back. A handprint of blood was left where her hand had lingered.

I didn't even think about my actions. I leaned closer to the glass while I stared into her violet orbs. I felt so attached to her. I began to loathe the glass that separated us. She stared at me the same way. Did she feel the connection that I felt?

I absently raised my left hand; my eyes never leaving hers. I positioned my hand towards the bloody handprint. Our hands had identical size and shape; mine would fit perfectly on her print.

As my hand moved towards the bloody print, her smile grew wider, until it almost looked like she was grinning. My hand was only half an inch away from the print when I noticed the mysterious spark in her eyes. My head started to hurt. Something was stirring inside my mind, grinding and digging through my memories, trying to convince me that something was very wrong. 'Turn back!' it seemed to say. But it was too late.

My hand reached the part of the glass that bore her bloody handprint. My palms felt how cold the glass was. Suddenly it felt warmer; something warm was seeping through the glass. It didn't take long for me to realize that it was blood, the blood from her handprint. I stared at the blood as it soaked my pale hand.

I turned to look at her again and I gasped in shock and horror. I almost couldn't recognize her. The tender expressions she previously wore had been replaced with something which resembled evil. Her eyes were now dark and mischievous; her smile became a grin of pure and utter madness.

An agonized scream was heard, its strong and piercing quality would've been enough to shatter each and every mirror in the room. It was my voice again but this time, I closed my eyes, I didn't even want to know who the scream came from.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	2. Omen

**OMEN**

* * *

I darted up into a sitting position on my bed; the movement was so quick that my head spun. I was startled awake trying to catch my breath. When I finally gained focus, I abruptly realized that my right hand wasn't relaxed, I was clutching something. I held it up and saw myself in the mirror that I was gripping….

I shrieked so loud that I felt the house shake. Without a second thought I threw the mirror across the room, as far away from me as possible.

Before I could recover, Charlie kicked my door open with so much force that the hinges gave out and it crashed down. He held his shotgun and braced himself as he aimed.

"BELLA" He roared; still tense and still ready to fire.

"Dad, please get the gun off my face!" I yelled trying to calm him and myself.

"Where are they Bella? Who attacked you?"

"No one dad, I just had a nightmare." I said soothingly.

He slowly lowered his shotgun and relaxed himself, but his expression was still guarded and wary.

"Are you sure Bells? It really sounded like someone was shoving their fingers into your eyes." Suspicion was evident in his voice. I made an exasperated sigh.

"Quit overreacting dad, I'm fine you can see that clearly."

"Alright, alright, you really just gave me a scare. I have to leave now; I got called for work early. Sorry about your door, I'll fix it when I get home."

"It's okay, I'll take care of it; I have nothing to do today anyway." That was true. Weekends have all been a bore these last few weeks. Ever since my disastrous birthday party at the Cullen's, they've all been so distant, especially Edward.

Ever since that night, when my clumsiness had cost Jasper to lose his control, Edward became cold and resentful. Everyone saw the change in him too. He would no longer hold my hand as we walked towards and around school. He ignored me in each class even in lunch. When I would try to talk to him, he would only nod or give short answers as if bored or annoyed by me. He no longer kissed me, not even on my cheek, and when I tried to kiss him he would pull away or slightly tilt his face to the side. Most of all he never stayed overnight anymore to hold me while I sleep.

It hurt, all of it. It made me feel so alone. The irony of how low I've sunk was devastating. Last summer, i.e. the best moments of my life, I was on top of the world, all because of Edward and his constant reminders of how much he loved me. I didn't just hear it in his words; I saw it in his eyes every time he gazed at me, I felt it in his touch when he caressed me or held me at night. Back then, though I have yet to understand why someone as perfect as him would want someone as plain as me; I would never have doubted his love for me, unlike now.

A small optimistic part of me told me that it was probably just a temporary cold shoulder; that soon enough, Edward and everything in our relationship would go back to normal. After all, he'd proven that he loved me, even if it didn't make sense.

But that's just it then. It didn't make any sense. What if he finally realized it now? What if he finally realized that he was too good for me, that he deserved so much better and that I wasn't good enough for him? The thought sent daggers through my heart, pain took my breath away and tears threatened to fall.

I raised my index finger to catch the teardrop that was threatening to fall from my left eye, that's when I noticed how red it was. What the hell? I opened my left hand and saw that it was soaked with blood. I gasped and bit back another scream. I didn't want to startle Charlie again, I hadn't heard his cruiser leave yet.

I kept gasping for breath as I stared at my blood stained hand without blinking. My head started pounding as visions of a room full of mirrors flashed in my mind. Mirrors; I suddenly remembered the mirror I had thrown.

I slowly stood up from bed and found the mirror lying face-down. It was a circular pale white handheld mirror. I picked it up with my right hand which shook uncontrollably as my left. I held it up; the frame was as big as my face. I examined it with awe and fascination. It looked like an antique; the designs were straight out of the Baroque Period. In a circular manner, carved on both sides of the mirror in an elegant script that not even Edward's could compare, were the inscriptions 'mors tua' and 'vita mea'.

"Mors tua, vita mea", I read aloud. My voice had an ominous ring like Alice when she's having a vision.

I didn't know what the words meant, but the dominant part of my mind told me that I didn't want to know. I held up my left bloody hand and the mirror on the same level in front of me. The sight before me chilled me to the bones. My room grew colder all of a sudden. Goosebumps rose throughout my skin, but I doubt it was because of the cold. My vision became blurry, Images flashed relentlessly in my mind; mirrors, blood, deep violet eyes and the me who isn't me.

The memory of the nightmare wasn't clear, it had been fading slowly. Now I remember it much clearly, too clearly in fact, though with the blood and the mirror, I really can't be sure that it was only a nightmare. My head was pounding again, searching for memories that I wasn't sure I had.

I never thought there would be a time that I would be thankful for Edward not being here. I couldn't bear for anyone, especially Edward, to witness my possible descent into madness. With a sigh, I placed the mirror on my desk and took a shower.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	3. Sunset

**SUNSET**

* * *

I was in the midst of cleaning up breakfast when I heard a knock. Could it be Edward? I felt a wave of excitement as I made my way to the door. This was the first time he visited me in my house since my birthday. I realized how much I overreacted earlier. Maybe things would go back to normal.

"Hey there you", I greeted with a smile.

"We have to talk", Edward's face and voice were cold and emotionless.

That didn't sound good. I felt my stomach twisting. I already had a good guess of where this was going, I was almost certain, but my stubborn self refused to accept it. I felt something heavy in my chest, as if my heart was already preparing for its demise. I had a little trouble breathing steadily.

Edward didn't seem to notice my slow breakdown, or maybe he just didn't care. He didn't wait for me to answer as he turned and headed towards the woods. I had to force my shaky legs to move and follow him. 'You can do this Bella, don't faint!' I said to myself. He stopped just a few meters from the trail. I leaned into a tree for support.

"Okay, let's talk", I said, putting on a brave face.

"The Denali coven visited us last week, they were supposed to leave last night but I asked them not to." His gaze was intense. I searched for the tenderness that I always saw in his eyes when he looked at me. It wasn't there, not even a trace. This wasn't my Edward.

"I don't see why we-

"Actually, I only pleaded for Tanya to stay, but the rest of the family couldn't bear to be away, so they all stayed."

I froze as I understood where this was going, Tanya, the beautiful vampire who wanted Edward. My stomach twisted again, and a pain shot through my chest, going right through my heart. I wrapped my arms around me in a desperate attempt to hold myself together.

"I still don't see why we need to talk about this", I said; feigning ignorance. I knew exactly why we were talking about it, I just couldn't accept it. Denial was all I could do to keep from breaking down.

"Listen Bella, the incident on your birthday made me realize something, and these last few weeks I've been contemplating. At first I thought it was just the fact that my family and I are a constant danger to you, and that I only wanted to keep you safe. That's what I tried to tell myself, I tried not to believe the other reason I wanted to do this. But then I saw Tanya again, and I knew that I couldn't deny it any longer."

A tear slid down my eye, and I bit back my sobs. The pain was too much to bear now. His voice was flat throughout his whole speech, but it softened when he said Tanya's name, it only added to the pain that had already been tormenting me ever since he started resenting me.

"Please, please don't do this Edward", I whispered as another teardrop fell. I stared intently at him; pleading with my eyes. I knew it was useless, he already did.

"I don't love you Bella, I never have; you're not good enough for me." He said harshly.

I thought I heard the sound of my heart shattering, I thought I felt as it bled. It was too much, too real. I've prepared myself for the possibility that he might do this. But no form of preparation could have lessened the pain. I wished he just killed me; it would have been less painful, more bearable. There was nothing I could do to change his mind; I knew too well that I wasn't good enough for him.

"I thought I loved you too, now I realized that I was merely intrigued. I have never encountered someone whose mind I couldn't read, and your blood was the sweetest I've ever smelled. I've been alone for more than a century; I hope you can understand how easily I could mistake my interest in you for love." He said apologetically, his eyes were still cold but they showed a hint of guilt.

'Stop, please, I don't want to hear anymore!' I tried to say, but nothing came out, only a quiet sob and more tears.

"When I saw Tanya again, I felt something different, stronger than what I felt for you. I realized that the reason I didn't feel it for her the first time was because I didn't believe in it back then. What I felt for you opened my mind and heart. I guess I should thank you for that, you helped me realize my mate."

His voice was softer now, and the guilt was more evident in his eyes. I thought I saw a glint of the love that used to show there, but I realized that I was only deluding myself like the first time. Someone like him would never love someone like me. He could only pity me. I was pathetic enough to mistake that pity for love.

"My family disapproved to this at first, but when they understood what I felt for Tanya, they finally agreed that it was for the best. We would sever all ties from you. We want you to live as if you didn't know us, as if we never met, and as if our relationship never existed. We want you to forget. Don't worry, you're human; your memories are ephemeral, it wouldn't be hard for you. It's best for all of us. Please Bella, for your own good, stay away from us." He said the last sentence firmly, and gave special emphasis to the last four words.

I was numb. The pain of everything he told me was too much that it finally numbed me. I felt empty; my chest where my heart used to be was the hollowest part.

"I have to go now, take care of yourself from now on; I won't be there to save you anymore."

I reached out to him. I wanted to touch him, feel him one last time, but he backed away; disgusted. He stared at me with those cold eyes for a few more moments before disappearing.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	4. Corruption

**CORRUPTION**

* * *

Empty, so empty, it only got worse everyday. It's almost been a month since I went out of my room.

I didn't want anyone to see me like this, to see just how broken and empty I was. I felt sorry for Charlie; everyday he had to see how lifeless I was when he brought me meals. I was grateful though, I would've starved to death by now if it weren't for him.

Life ceased to have meaning when he left; nothing seemed to matter anymore. Everyday I relive the pain, replaying everything he'd said over and over until I numbed down again. I rarely got out of bed; I only did so when I showered. I mostly sat in my bed and thought of the pain, the words 'not good enough' and 'I don't love you' kept repeating in my mind, sometimes I even saw them written all over my walls. Every night I would stare at the ceiling, wishing I could just disappear, until I fall into a dreamless sleep.

"Bells, can you hear me?" Charlie said, snapping me out of my trance.

I nodded. My body stayed still while my head moved up and down slowly. My eyes didn't blink as I continued to stare blankly at the walls.

"Listen Bella, you know how worried I am about you. You need to start living again; you won't get any better if you continue to mope around in your room. No, moping would be something, you're not doing anything Bella; you're like a walking dead."

"What-

I gasped for breath. Talking made the pain intensify, the pity in Charlie's eyes made it worse.

"What do you want me to do?" I whispered as I held myself together with both arms.

"I think going back to school would be best for you. Your friends are probably worried. You have other friends Bells; you have a life outside Ed- him and the Cullens, so live it. Besides, you have to catch up on school if you want to graduate."

I looked at Charlie this time. Tears were blurring my vision. I was so thankful for him, and so ashamed of myself. He'd been so patient and understanding. I could tell this was as hard for him as it was for me. He never gave up on me though it was clear that I had. Renee hadn't been much of a parent to me, but Charlie had been a great father when I needed him.

"Thank you Dad, and I'm…..I'm so sorry", I sobbed the last part; I couldn't fight the tears as they fell on my cheeks.

"There's nothing to be sorry for Bells, none of this is your fault, and you know I'm always here for you." Charlie said in a soothing voice while hugging me and rubbing my back.

"I love you Dad." I whispered while still crying on his shoulder.

"And I love you Bella." He said awkwardly.

I smiled; it felt like forever since I last did. I knew how uncomfortable this kind of situation made Charlie. He wasn't good at dealing with emotional things, yet he did so just to comfort me.

"So uh, you'll go back to school?" I could tell he really didn't know what else to say.

"Yes." I whispered before pulling back from our embrace because I knew he wouldn't.

"Okay then. So umm, I guess you'd better eat your breakfast. I have to go." Charlie kissed my forehead before he exited my room.

I ate quickly, not really tasting the food, and got up to take a shower. I let the warmth of the water soothe my skin as I thought about going back to school tomorrow. Charlie was right; I had to start living again. I can't let something like this be earth-shattering, though somehow I already did these past few weeks.

I would go to school and continue on with my life. After all, there was nothing else to do, the only other option was to waste away here in my room and I just can't put Charlie through that, he didn't deserve it.

Of course, if I'll be completely honest with myself, going back to school isn't just for Charlie or for me; it was also because of him. No matter how masochistic it might sound, I ached to see him again. I've gone on for too long without his beauty. Though I knew he wouldn't be mine anymore, I still hoped that somehow the emptiness I felt would be filled just by seeing him again.

I stood in front of the mirror to dry my hair, but what I saw made every hair on my body rise. My eyes, they were different, beyond different. I closed them and shook my head. It was no use, they were still different. The chocolate brown orbs which had been my eyes were gone; replaced with deep violet ones.

They weren't my eyes, they were _hers_. Oh god, what's happening? Have I really gone insane? No, insanity doesn't explain the ethereal mirror that I somehow woke up with, and the blood, the blood on my left hand which took an hour to wash even with warm water and soap. Those things were concrete, tangible, and real; too real. They could not have been a figment of my possibly mad imagination.

I heard an ear-shattering sound. Someone screamed, it was an unearthly sound, it didn't sound human, but it tried to do so. My reflection revealed that it was me, but it can't be, I don't feel myself doing it. The sound suddenly shifted its tone; it continued its transition until it sounded like my voice, as if it was trying to convince me that I was the one making the sound.

My breath hitched and I felt myself freeze. Then it felt like I was falling. I heard a thud before I saw black.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	5. Pentagram

**PENTAGRAM**

* * *

I'd forced myself to look in the mirror that morning, immediately regretting it when I saw that my eyes were still deep violet. It didn't help that I was already nervous about going back to school, now I had to hide my eyes from everyone, which, as far as I know, is impossible unless I wore shades throughout the day, and that would just be more conspicuous.

Maybe I would get lucky and no one would notice. Ha, fat chance, I never get lucky. And with me being out of school for almost a month and the news of the break-up circulating through that time, I'm bound to get noticed.

What if I just wait till my eyes go back to normal before going back to school? Worst plan yet; I'm not even sure if anything would be normal again. Besides, I can't miss out on any more school work if I plan on graduating.

I wasn't left with a choice, I had to do this. I promised myself and Charlie that I would live again, and I wouldn't let any weirdness or the possibility that I might be crazy thwart that plan.

Plus I had to see _him…_

Though I hated to admit it, that last part was what finally got me moving. I dressed quickly and made my way down stairs. Charlie was already at the door, he stared at me with obvious disbelief.

"Good morning dad." I greeted as cheerfully as I could manage.

"Wow Bells, you're really going back, I didn't think it would be that easy." His stunned expression never faltered as he spoke.

"You really did well in talking some sense into me." I tried to maintain a smile as I spoke.

I shrugged and waved at him before turning to the kitchen. Then I realized that Charlie's eyes were still fixed on me in a bewildered gaze.

"Dad?"

"Bella, your eyes…" He said almost absently.

Oh shit…

"Please dad, let's not talk about it now." I said while hiding under my hair.

"But Bell-

"Just leave it alone!" I snapped at him while I gazed intently into his eyes.

"I'll leave you alone." Charlie said in a monotone; almost like a robot.

Without another word he went out the door, after only a few seconds I heard his cruiser leaving. What the hell just happened? One moment I was screwed and the next it was like nothing happened. The worst possible explanations entered my mind; what if instead of me, the world had gotten insane? What if I only think so because I really was insane?

I face palmed myself and screamed in frustration. Then I remembered why I went out of my room and dressed up in the first the place. Oh great. What a way to start the day. The predicament with Charlie was only the beginning; worse things are to come.

I wanted to cry.

I stepped out of the door, the air was cooler and heavier than I expected. I tucked my sweater tighter around myself. This town had gotten gloomier; like it was as depressed as I had been. My nerves were twisting my stomach as I took slow and hesitant steps towards my truck.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	6. Perfect

**PERFECT**

* * *

The drive towards school was harder than I'd perceived. Though I was grateful for the distraction, I'm not really sure if I'd want to delve deeper into the disturbing mysteries which have been twisting my mind. It was hard to focus on the road, not when I keep seeing those deep violet eyes, _her _eyes, in the rearview mirror.

I pulled into the parking lot and everyone stopped to gawk in my direction. I sighed, everyone knew my truck; it was easily noticeable being the oldest vehicle to ever grace this school parking lot. I decided to stay inside for awhile until they stopped staring even if it took forever; it was the obvious choice against being mobbed by questions concerning him and the Cullens, and most importantly, my change of eye color.

As my thoughts began to wander again, a car pulled up a few meters away, in front of my side of the truck. My breath caught, it was a silver Volvo; I would know that car anywhere. My eyes were wide as the driver's door slowly opened and my love stepped out.

I took in every inch of his beauty without blinking; his smoldering topaz eyes, his straight and pointed nose, his full lips, his strong jaw, and his perfect pale skin and body. He was even more beautiful than I remembered. For the first time in a long time, I felt something other than emptiness in my chest. I felt my heart's presence, and it swelled with all the love I felt for him.

My gaze followed his every movement, watching as he made his way gracefully towards the passenger door and opened it. I was a bit perplexed seeing as how he only ever did that with me. Then I saw the reason and regretted it.

Long slender legs emerged, perfect pale skin, a slim body with curves on all the right places, and a strikingly beautiful face framed by long strawberry blonde waves. She looked too gorgeous in her pink casual dress and high stiletto heels. I doubt she even needed Alice's help in choosing clothes. His strong arms wrapped around her thin waist.

My heart didn't break this time, it was just gone. My chest felt hollow again, like it had never been there. Tears welled in my eyes as they walked off, Alice and Jasper trailing behind them. He wasn't mine; he'd never been and never will be. The harsh reality of it slapped me hard when I saw her with him. They were perfect for each other, I never had a chance.

I didn't realize that I was holding my breath, I let it out and with it the tears escaped. I cried for a while; dwelling in my own misery. What was I thinking? Did I really assume that he would be in the same pain that I was? I guess I had hoped that he would feel even a little amount of pain. That was my fault, I hoped. All of this was because I hoped. From the first time I saw him, I had hoped that he would notice me. When I fell in love with him, I had hoped that he would feel the same. And now that he left me, I still hoped that he would have at least a tiny fraction of love left for me to hurt.

I laughed humorlessly. No more hoping then. He'd already crushed all my hopes for us. I wiped the tears but more kept falling. So I sat back, closed my eyes and thought of all the things that would give me strength. Charlie's face was the first one I saw, and then Renee's, and a little blonde girl with beautiful violet eyes. My eyes flew open, but it did no good, my head pounded furiously, and more images ruthlessly flashed in my mind; two little girls, blonde and brunette, blissfully riding on swings; flat lines on a cardiac monitor; entwined pinky fingers; violet eyes that were too wide open.

I clutched my head on both sides and screamed in pure agony. The tears I shed were no longer for the pain of seeing the perfect couple, but for the torture which slowly drove me to raging madness. I leaned down and grunted; I didn't have enough breath to continue screaming. It was pounding, grinding and digging through my memories again. The images continued to appear faster until they were no longer coherent.

"Promise", I heard my voice, it was a distant sound. Then it was all over.

I pressed my face on the steering wheel and hung onto it for support. I took a few deep breaths, eyes still closed. I was so weak, so tired. I rose immediately once my breathing steadied. I was afraid I might fall fast asleep. My eyes were bulging from all the crying. That was fine. I planned on hiding them from everyone regardless.

He and I didn't have classes together anymore. I guessed he already fixed that. Though it hurt, I was still thankful. It was the best way for me to learn to accept reality. He didn't want me, why would he? He'd already found his perfect mate.

I got through half the school day without anyone badgering me about my month-long absence or my eyes. It was all thanks to my hair which served as an effective anti-attention barrier. Just when I thought that all would be well at least for the day, the sight in the cafeteria had me frozen up at the doorway.

My friends, they were all there, at the same table with the Cullens. Tanya was at my usual seat, chattering away with Jessica. His arm was still around her. All the boys, especially Mike, seemed enamored by her. Alice and Angela were ignoring everyone; they seemed to be discussing their own serious matters.

'Don't cry Bella', I kept repeating in my head as I felt the sting of tears. 'Just walk away', I tried but my feet wouldn't move. It was only when Tanya leaned up and kissed his cheek that I finally had enough. I turned to flee.

Just my luck, I crashed into someone. My books scattered all over the floor and we both got down picking them up.

"I'm so sorry miss", she said, her tone apologetic.

"It's alright; it's not your fault. I'm the klutz." My tone was as sorry as hers.

I looked up so I could thank her properly; big mistake.

She had straight shiny black hair and brown eyes. I've never seen her before. Her eyes were very expressive though, her wonder and interest could easily be read.

"Wow, your eyes are the deepest shade of violet I've ever seen. They're so pretty." She said softly, amazement coloring her tone as her wide eyes looked directly into mine.

"No! No they're not." I stated firmly while looking into her eyes intently.

"Nothing really special", she mumbled in the same robotic tone Charlie used.

She walked away like nothing happened, leaving me to cope with the weirdness that had transpired. I couldn't think straight, not right then. It was all too much, everything was happening too fast. I had to get out, get away from everyone. I felt like I was going to snap if I don't. No, I was very sure I would.

I ran like hell.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	7. Price

**PRICE**

* * *

Head pounding, pulse racing; I can't freaking focus! Cold sweat was trickling down my forehead as I struggled to steady my breathing. My grip on the steering wheel became tighter as I forced my truck to go faster. Everything was a blur. I had no idea where I was but it was green, so green. Fucking green everywhere!

I heard a loud thud before I saw a flash of bright yellow. I hit the brakes; the halt was so sudden that I would've flown out if it weren't for my seatbelt. The sight before me was one that would haunt me even in my daydreams.

Amidst the dim glow of the woods and the pale green of the leaves from trees and shrubs, above the hood of my faded red truck, in a bright yellow jumpsuit and bonnet, the remains of my unfortunate victim lay in disturbing peace.

His body was twisted in a most unnatural manner, his neck in a very wrong angle. His face was towards me, adding to the things I could never unsee. His salt and pepper hair peeked through his bonnet and framed his face in a short beard. Blood oozed from his nostrils and flowed into the ones which gushed from his slightly parted lips all the way down to his chin staining his beard.

His eyes completed the macabre scene. From an innocent perspective perhaps, his eyes were lifeless; staring blankly without seeing. But being the one with blood on my hands, my guilt had completely twisted the image. His eyes bore accusingly into mine; anger, hatred and utter repulsion swimming in their depths. I knew too well that those eyes would be permanently etched in my mind.

"No, no, no, no…" I murmured as the horrific situation slowly sunk in.

I was petrified; slowly losing my grip on reality. If I don't compose myself soon, my sanity would be next. For a brief moment, I considered letting go. Letting the weight of everything that happened – losing him and the Cullens, Tanya, my friends, the dream, the mirror, _her _eyes, the yellow man's eyes blaming me for his tragic end – just slip away along with my sound mind. I would be deranged yes, but at least I would forget. I wouldn't have to carry the burden of what I had done. Nothing would matter anymore if I embraced absolute insanity.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	8. Schizophrenia

**SCHIZOPHRENIA**

* * *

'Hide the body. Hide the evidence!'

That was what a persistent voice in my head kept yelling.

I drove faster than ever, but this time more carefully. I had my complete focus now, though not for reasons I could've ever imagined. All my thoughts zeroed in on getting rid of an old yellow-loving man who was now nothing more than a crumpled corpse in the back of my truck. I killed him, me, it was my entire fault, I killed a living person. I had ruined his life, ended it. I'm a murderer.

I struggled to wrap my mind around those thoughts. My attempts seemed futile. It couldn't be true. It shouldn't be. I just couldn't accept it.

"It's too much…" I whimpered; wanting to cry in despair.

'Well you have to! You chose this! You chose to accept this; chose to play the tough tootsie who'll deal with all the shit your cruel life throws at you. You could've just backed off; just give up and forget! You could've been a lunatic without problems! It would've been a lot easier! But nooooo… You had to act all big bad and strong, you stupid masochistic idiot!'

The voice in my head scolded angrily, yelling so loud that I could've sworn I literally heard it with my ears. The worst was that I knew it was right.

I had chosen to be strong, to not give up. I had chosen not to let the predicament get the best of me unlike last time when he broke my heart. I had chosen to deal with it, to solve it. I knew it was the right thing to do, but why, oh good heavens why? Why do all the right things have to be difficult?

I reached my destination, the cliff somewhere in La Push. I wasted no time; I hurriedly dragged the body by the shoulders and pushed it towards the edge. When all was done, I sunk to my knees. The tears I've been holding back now drowned me as guilt and shame consumed me.

"I'm so sorry, so terribly sorry. I had to do this. It's the only way." I whispered between broken sobs.

'That's a lie you know.'

My annoying inner voice was right again. There was another way; a more reasonable, proper and responsible way. I could've handed the body over to the police and told them the whole story. They would've seen it as an accident. Of course, that was what it was, a horrible accident brought about by reckless driving. The problem was Charlie.

They would have bombarded me with questions that I wouldn't want to answer. I would've had to lie, tell them I was drunk or on drugs, tell them something they would want to believe so they could charge or jail me and get it over with. Of course Charlie would've seen right through me, he wouldn't have believed all those lies. He would've demanded the truth and I wouldn't have given it to him. I couldn't just tell him or anyone that the real cause of the accident was because I was driving while on the verge of being insane.

But even without Charlie sensing the truth, even if the police decided to imprison me and dub me as a criminal, it still wouldn't be the worst part. No, the worst part would have been the accusing stares of everyone especially the yellow man's relatives, Charlie's shame and the pity in his eyes, and the knowing looks of all the other prisoners. I didn't need any of those to add to the torments of my remorse. My own shame and self-blame had already broken me beyond repair.

It was getting darker; the day was ending and night was falling. I felt a sense of being watched as I slowly stumbled back to my truck. I shrugged it off when it hit me that if your secret was as big as killing someone and disposing the body to keep from getting caught, paranoia was very close to normal.

It was completely dark when I got home. Charlie's cruiser wasn't in its usual spot. The house was entirely shrouded in darkness and absolute silence. If it weren't for my truck's headlights, I would have probably overlooked it.

I was in the process of sticking the key into the keyhole when I heard a ruffling sound of leaves. It came from the trees, then another sound from the bushes, this time I felt a presence.

'It's only the wind you sissy', the voice mocked.

It couldn't have been the wind. The air was as still as a corpse. Okay, I do not like the direction of my thoughts.

'Paranoia, remember'

Right, dark secret is equal to paranoia. But paranoia didn't explain the sounds I heard just now. I unlocked the door in a clumsy rush, failing to fit the key just right and turning it the wrong way. I repeated 'Ghosts aren't real' over and over in my head. Had the yellow man decided to haunt me this early? Relief filled me when the door finally opened; I hurried inside before I could psyche myself out further.

I dashed to my room, not looking back. My heart was thumping so hard that it could have burst out of my chest. The room was cold but I was sweating. I sought blindly for my lamp while trying to catch my breath. The dim glow of the lamp barely illuminated my room. Fear was eating me alive; it froze my body and made a huge lump in my chest, making breathing almost impossible. Only my eyes could move, and they scanned the shadows swiftly, searching until I found the yellow man in the corner.

I screeched till I was out of breath, terror driving me into the brink of madness. I thrashed and turned and fell onto my bed. I clawed at the blanket till my hand felt a pillow, automatically flinging it at the yellow man. He crumpled a bit when it hit him, then he flowed back into shape. I realized then that he was only a yellow sweater hanging inside my open closet.

'This is ridiculous, quit being a baby'

Much to my dismay, annoying voice was right; I was acting like a little kid who was afraid of the Boogeyman. Goddamnit, why did she always have to be right?

I mentally slapped myself before I got ready for bed. My stomach interrupted me then, rumbling impatiently, reminding me of the last time I gave it anything other than butterflies. I missed lunch and I didn't even bother eating dinner. Charlie wasn't home so I didn't feel the need to prepare anything. I guess I still had to. With a huge groan, I let my stomach command my feet towards the kitchen.

I found pizza in the fridge; it wasn't too cold so I didn't bother heating it. I reflected through my day as I ate. Let's see; got freaked out by the weird hypnosis I somehow pulled on Charlie, watched as the love of my life flaunted his new perfect girlfriend, got an excruciatingly painful migraine, found out that perfect girlfriend not only stole my love but also my friends, got freaked some more by the weird hypnosis this time on a random girl, almost went crazy, killed the yellow man whose spirit may or may not be haunting me for revenge, and listening to inner voice mock and scold me throughout every moment.

"Definitely not the best day ever." I muttered as I took another bite of pizza.

As I placed the remaining pizza back in the fridge, my eyes fell on a bottle of beer.

'Do it. With everything that happened, do you really think you could sleep so easily?'

"For Christ sake just shut up for once! I already know that's why I'm staring at it in the first place! You annoying bitch!" I yelled irritatingly.

There, that would teach her to piss me off after a shitty day. Meanwhile, I'm having serious doubts if choosing not to be crazy kept it from happening anyway.

I unconsciously grabbed the brown bottle and slumped down on the chair again. I took off the lid without much enthusiasm and out came a nauseating smell. I scrunched my nose and brought the bottle to my lips. I took a huge gulp and hissed. The bitter taste burned my throat all the way down. Alcohol was absolutely horrible, yet I wanted more.

"To the shittiest day of my pathetic life", I said as I slightly raised the bottle in the air.

'And more to come', inner voice added.

I downed the beer in huge gulps. The taste got worse with each swallow, yet better at the same time. My head was spinning by the time I emptied the bottle. I felt amazing. The calmness made me want to fly. I stood up and wobbled a bit causing my chair to knock over.

I flew up to my room, at least that was what it felt like, smiling all the way, the bottle still in hand, as I crawled up the stairs. As I lay down my bed, both arms above my head, I thought of the senseless joy which drowned me. Being drunk was the best experience I've ever had. No wonder lonely people turned to alcohol. It didn't drown your sorrows or made you forget, but it made you not care. It made you happy for no reason.

"Screw Edward and his perfect Tanya, screw all the Cullens. Screw my so called friends. Screw you yellow man. More importantly, fuck you inner voice!" I muttered as my eyelids began to droop.

The brown bottle fell from my hand as it went limp. I let the calmness carry me into sleep's cradle. At last, I drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	9. Fruition

**FRUITION**

* * *

As soon as I opened my eyes, a familiar pounding in my head began. I sat up slowly; eyes still closed, and clutched my head. My wild hair fell all over my face. The dull pain was tolerable at least.

"Wake up sleepy head", a tender voice said.

I went as still as a statue, my eyes grew wide. That sounded like inner voice. But it couldn't possibly be. First of all that remark was too nice, it wasn't scolding or mocking. Second of all, it sounded too real, too frighteningly real.

"Hey Marie! You awake sis?" There it was again, that voice, my voice, raising goose bumps throughout my body.

I never thought there would come a time when I would long for that annoying voice in the back of my head to tell me that this was all because I was bat-shit insane.

"Yoo hoo, anyone there? Over here Marie!"

I swallowed, willing the huge lump in my throat to vanish, but it didn't. My eyes roamed from left to right suspiciously around my room. The pale blue walls, the dark brown 6 foot tall door on the left wall from my bed, the blue office desk on the left corner in front of my bed, the pale white handheld mirror which still gave me chills was on the right side of the desk, a really old fashioned computer took up most of the left side, the closet door which I never bothered to close was hanging open, inside was my yellow sweater which I had mistaken as the ghost of the yellow man last night, the rocking chair on the right corner which swung slightly from the wind blowing from the open window on the center of the right wall. The light of early morning was like the pale glow of winter day.

Everything was too vivid, this was not a dream.

"Oh Marie…" The voice sung in a bell-like tone, "I'm not getting any prettier," it continued in the same tone.

I turned towards the direction of the sound. The pounding in my head accelerated, the pain now becoming sharper. I ignored it this time, and proceeded to search for the source of the voice. It seemed to be coming from my desk.

"Ring around the rosie…" It began singing, the sound reminiscent of a sweet innocent child's crooning.

As I approached the desk, my heart thumping faster and faster as the singing grew louder, I realized that the voice was coming from the mirror. I paused then, and trembled at the thought of getting closer to the damned thing.

"A pocket full of posies…"

My curiosity got the best of me. As I stepped closer, the air grew heavier, until it felt like a force was trying to pull me back. Each step was slower than the other, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't go faster. It was like walking underwater.

"Ashes, ashes…" The voice sung in a mocking whisper.

I reached out, with a quivering hand, ever so slowly. My fingers felt the white wooden handle of the mirror, smooth, hard and cold, very cold. I wound my fingers around it. I unconsciously held it tight, so tight that my knuckles looked ready to burst.

"We all tumble down." The song came to an end, the voice was quiet, and my heart stopped beating.

I held the mirror up, no, it held me. It clung to my skin like a hard leech. I absolutely hate it, from the very first moment up to now, it unnerved me.

Then I saw _her_.

Her expression was nothing but menacing. She had her face pressed up on the mirror. It took up the entire frame. She widened her violet eyes so that they were almost bulging out. She bared her teeth in a grin which almost reached her ears.

"Boo," she whispered. It was a soft sound, not the loud startling tone which usually accompanied that one word. Nonetheless, the sudden shift of her lips from a creepy grin to a tiny 'o' and the stillness of her sinister expression made it spine-chilling.

"Hey sis, you okay? Stop shaking like that, you're starting to scare me." She spoke, her tone casual as her features changed to that of confusion.

I'm the one scaring her? I chuckled at the irony.

"Are you always this creepy?" She asked, smiling and quirking an eyebrow.

Is she freaking serious?

I was about to voice my frustration, but she held up a finger.

"Bella?" Dad's voice brought me out of her trance.

Do I tell him? He'll think I'm crazy! But then again so do I. If I truly am, then dad's the only one who could help me.

That decided it for me.

"Bells, is someone else here? Who were you talking to?" Dad emerged from the doorway, quirking his eyebrow much like she had.

"Not in here dad, but in the mirror-

My loud gasp cut off my speech. The mirror was gone. It vanished from my hand.

"Er, what mirror Bells?" Dad scratched his brow which was now creased from confusion rather than suspicion.

The pain came back then. I clenched my teeth and the hiss that left me ached because of my dry throat. Who was it? Who plunged their hand into my head and was squeezing and twisting my brain and everything else inside?!

My eyes rolled back in my head as it began to sting. I hissed again despite the pain. I barely registered the loud thump of the impact as my knees hit the wooden floor.

There I was, kneeling in agony, clutching both sides of my head while I suffered the torture within. My body straight and stiff and shuddering as the pain threatened to make me collapse. Where was my dad? Why wasn't he helping me?

"_Why didn't you help me?" I whispered hoarsely as tears pooled and finally fell from my eyes, soaking the fabric which covered the rest of my face._

"_I tried but I couldn't, I'm so sorry", she mumbled through her own tears._

_She was lying. _

"_I'm so sorry Mar-_

"_Shut up, just shut up! I… I… I hate you!" I spat with as much force as my throat could muster._

_Even through my typically blurred vision – worsened by my condition – I could see the way her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Her small frame froze as the pain of my words hit her._

_I felt guilty. After all that she did I was still the one feeling guilty._

_I didn't hate her. I could never. No matter what she did or what else she would do, I will always love her. She was mine and I was hers, we were bound together, mind body and soul. _

_I did however, hate what she did. Worst of all, she lied about it; I hated that too…_

_But we made a promise, so how could she do that? What if she wasn't lying?_

_Her tragic expression changed as I contemplated. The traces of the shame and regret which caused her grief were suddenly gone. I couldn't fathom the emotion that replaced them, the unreadable expression that suddenly hovered on her features._

_Nothing could've prepared me for what she did next…_

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


	10. Hint

**HINT**

* * *

"Bells? Bella, please wake up," my dad's familiar voice pleaded.

"It's best to just let her rest Chief Swan," another voice said, this one only vaguely familiar.

I opened my eyes, searching for my dad and his companion. For a moment, all I saw were smudges of dim colors. I waited for my vision to clear, but it didn't.

"Dad," I called out, panic coating my tone.

"I'm here Bells, I'm right here honey," I heard my dad say. Something warm enveloped my left hand; it was my father's hand.

"Dad I can't see. My eyes won't clear, what's happening?" I sobbed. There were many colors, but no shape nor distinction.

"Just try to relax Bella. Calm down now." That other voice said softly, trying to soothe me.

I tried to do as the other voice said. But calmness was nowhere to be felt.

"Dad, dad I'm scared." I continued to sob, tears now trickling from my barely seeing eyes, worsening my already awful vision.

"Dr. Gerandy?" You could hear the despair in my dad's voice as he pleaded with the doctor; Dr. Gerandy? Ah, that was why the voice sounded familiar.

"I don't believe I should tell her while she's under such condition."

"I'm telling you doc, it can't be. She wasn't always like this. You know that!" My father tried to argue, but his voice already held defeat.

"Tell me what dad? Dr. Gerandy what's… wha…" I couldn't find it in me to continue. The panic was already threatening to break me again.

"I'll tell you dear. But please be calm first." Dr. Gerandy's calm façade was beginning to irritate me. I found it harder to do as he said. My curiosity won me over though; I tried to compose myself as best as I could.

The doctor's loud sigh told me I wasn't doing a good job. Nonetheless, he answered my unfinished question.

"You have a serious disorder Isabella, namely Albinism. Since only your eyes appear to have been impaired, I would say it's specifically Ocular Albinism. Now I know it seems impossible. For one, it is a genetic condition, thus it should've manifested from the early stages of infancy, and as your father said and from what I've seen myself, your condition is recent. Still, all symptoms point to that ailment. From the rapid convulsive way you are moving your eyes right now which you are unaware of I'm sure, and how you could not see anything solidly, and one more thing, please excuse me for this…" As abruptly as the way he cut off his speech, a blinding blanket of light sent a severe sting into my eyes.

"Rmmffd…" I could make no coherent sound as my face crumpled up. I shut my eyes as tightly as I can; waiting for the stinging to subside as more tears seeped through.

"Again I apologize Bella. But this further emphasizes my point. I merely turned on the light of your room but due to your eyes' increased sensitivity to light; it seemed blinding and was even enough to hurt you."

"Please turn it off…" I said. I hoped he understood my strained voice. Goddamnit why didn't he turn it off before babbling on?! He was a doctor for Christ's sake; he's supposed to be sensitive to his patient's pain!

"Oh I'm sorry for that dear. Here… All better now? As I was saying, there's all that and I haven't even mentioned the most undeniable indication, the color of your eyes. One look into those violet eyes Isabella, and any doctor would say you're an Albino. True violet eyes only occur due to Albinism." He finished, sounding so sure of himself he might have been mentally patting his back.

They didn't understand. I wasn't scared because of my deteriorating vision. Although I admit that is something to be concerned about. No, what truly scared me was the fact that I saw through the same vision as my dream. Was it really a dream? It felt more. Unlike the surreal feelings which indicated that one is dreaming, what I felt in those moments was familiarity, a sense of recognition, Déjà vu perhaps?

No, it's got to be a dream, nothing more than a dream. If anything Dr. Gerandy's diagnosis proved everything "mysterious" that happened false, proved _her_ false. These violet eyes were not _hers_. These were mine, my eyes which somehow got diseased.

'Oh yeah, well how do you explain the mirror huh? What about the fact that you saw _her_ in that mirror? Let's not forget the blood.'

Oh so you're back huh? You think you're clever, but the answer to that is painfully obvious smartass. It's not just my body that's sick; my mind is obviously missing a few screws. C'mon, **you're **the 'most undeniable indication' to that!

"It still can't be! How the hell is that even possible?! Eyes don't just change colors. Babies do but that's part of their development. I don't need to be a doctor to know these things doc. She's a grown woman! She's an adult for Christ's sake!" My dad roared every word at the smug doctor. But Dr. Gerandy still kept irritatingly calm. No doubt I'm not the only one who get's pissed at that.

"I admit this matter is still a subject for further investigations. That's why I advise you and your daughter to visit the hospital so we could have formal check ups. Pardon me Chief Swan if anything I said aggravated you. I was merely presenting you with a hypothesis, a very plausible hypothesis as I've already explained. After all, these matters could only be rationalized through scientific method. Unless of course, you're suggesting something paranormal, are you Chief?" Dr. Gerandy snickered at the last part.

That silenced my dad. I honestly thought he would punch the doctor. I mean I would have if I wasn't so tired. I guess it's good my dad had a lot of control. After all, Dr. Gerandy's point was strong, for someone with his type of knowledge that is. For someone like me who knew of vampires lurking the Earth, paranormal stuff didn't seem so far-fetched.

'My point exactly'

Yes, I already know she wouldn't stop till she could say she was right again.

"Very well, I should probably be going. Chief Swan, please consider my suggestion, for Bella's sake. Bella, you might need to wear glasses or contacts. If my diagnosis is accurate then the damage of your eyes is permanent. Don't worry though; your vision won't continue to deteriorate over time."

"Alright then, thank you for your time Dr. Gerandy. Please allow me to… Urm… Bells?" Dad hesitated.

"I'll be fine Dad," I assured him. He and Dr. Gerandy marched out.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own Twilight nor the characters from said book. They belong to their respective owner, i.e. Stephenie Meyer. I am merely using its plot as a basis and springboard for my own original plot. Rest assured that there are no profitable intentions behind this fan fiction story.


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